With this year looking to be one of big change for me with my college career finished for the foreseeable future and full time work coming around the corner I have found myself facing a lot of questions about what exactly the right next steps are, and if they are the right steps then how I will know that they are. In a sense, I know generally the kind of life I want to live, what my interests are, and perhaps most importantly what my interests generally aren’t, but moving from step to step can be a big unknown. I’ll often find that while I’m working on some task to get me closer towards one thing(getting my resume sent out to as many places as I can), I might also be thinking that perhaps I am completely ignoring something else I should be doing to get me close to something even more important(seeking a totally different career path?). It’s funny how at each stage of life you are eager to get to the next one(grade school to high school, high school to college, college to graduation)only to realize that once you’re there you kind of miss being in the previous stage in some sense; missing that feeling of guided direction, routine, or knowing exactly what you are supposed to be doing. If I’m being honest, however, the feeling of opportunity and an open future brings more hopeful anticipation than nostalgia, making the anxieties of the coming unknown a lot easier to deal with.
One quote that I have been keeping in the back of my mind during this transition period, and that has helped to give me this greater sense of excitement than fear, is by the ever quotable Marcus Aurelius(2nd century Roman Emperor) from his world-wide known work, Meditations, a book I have mentioned a few times before. In this relatively short book that is literally full of quotable lines, one that has especially stuck with me comes from the seventh “book,” roughly halfway through the work. It reads: “Consider yourself to be dead, and to have completed your life up to the present time; and live, according to nature, the remainder that is allowed you.” Closely related to the major theme in the book overall about doing your best at what you can control and not worrying about the rest, I have found this quote to speak to me in so many ways when my future is uncertain. Studying the work of Marcus Aurelius, a major historical figure, puts me in a historical mindset and leads me to think about how many regular people throughout history would have done anything to have the opportunities that I have right now; opportunities that evaded them for any number of reasons ranging from an early death of violence or disease, or simply because of the life that they were born into. Having the opportunity to make anything I want of my life is a gift that I should appreciate everyday.
While moving away from my life of routine and the predicability of a college schedule is in many ways daunting, thinking about the future as a gift, if nothing else, makes me want to embrace it to the best of my ability. If I found out that today was my last day and in a few minuets I would be gone, what would I wish I had embarked to do had I had years and years left on Earth? The best part is I do have years and years left on Earth to live the remainder that is allowed me the best I can.